Last night, we cuddled on the couch and watched a Will Ferrell movie on Prime. Scratch that. I watched a Will Ferrell movie on Prime while you snoozed next to me, but we were definitely touching. Before the movie, we sat together and laughed about how weird our kids are (SO WEIRD). The night before, we played Yahtzee at a friends’ house and acted like we were still in college, laughing so hard the kids came in to see what was so funny. (“Nothing. Go play.”) I fell asleep so thankful for you, reminded of how good you are to me and for me.
This weekend was good. So good.
But last weekend.
Last weekend, I couldn’t believe I ever thought we were compatible. I thought you were a jerk, and you thought the same of me. I just couldn’t get over what you said and couldn’t believe you actually believe that. Last weekend I whispered a few choice words under my breath and resigned myself to my bedroom and cried until my eyes were puffy. I fell asleep numbering the differences between us, wondering if our personalities were too opposite, feeling like we were jamming two puzzle pieces together that just didn’t fit.
Last weekend was hard. So hard.
But you know what was so sweet about this weekend? You know what made it so good? That this weekend followed last weekend.
What happened last weekend felt hopeless and dark. But this weekend says it wasn’t.
We could have sat there in that ugliness and let it fester and ferment until our entire home was enveloped in a bitter, angry chill. We could have given in to our emotions and believed the whispers. “He’ll never change.” “How could I have married someone so ______.” “I don’t love her like I used to.”
But we didn’t …
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