Book Update: Submission Deadline

Christmas break is upon us and even though I’ve been trapped in my house for two years, I still get those butterflies in my stomach signifying the end of a semester. I almost envy the students since they get to experience the joy of hearing that final bell. Sigh. In elementary school, on the last day of each semester my mom (a kindergarten teacher) would jump up and down with me in excitement. She’d even jump on the bed. I always thought, “Gosh. She is super excited for me to have a break. What a mom.”

Then, I became a teacher, and I realized… she wasn’t excited for me at all.

This is what I hope Christmas break means for you: time with family. AKA lots of help with your precious little kiddos. AKA lots of alone time, lots of naps, lots of sleeping in, lots of chocolate, lots of reading, and a little bit of writing for yours truly. That’s right, I need more submissions.

Here’s an update on The Mommy Confessions:

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1. I am setting a deadline for submissions so that we can get this show on the road. **PLEASE SEND IN YOUR STORIES BY MARCH 1.** This gives us all time to make a couple more mistakes and live to tell about them. Chosen stories will be announced April 1.

2. I think I need to be more specific on what kind of anecdotes I’m looking for.

I’m not looking for embarrassing stories about something your child did, over which you had no control. While these are hilarious, they don’t really fall into the category of a mommy fail, because, well, you didn’t fail. Your child failed. Sorry kid, it’s the truth.

I AM looking for stories that you look back on and think, “Man, I definitely wish I’d handled that differently,” or “Some might actually think that was MY fault.” Ask yourself this question before pushing send: “Did I feel like a failure after this happened?” If so, join the party. We happily celebrate your parenting faux pas.

Anything coming to mind? Let me jog your memory …

– that time you had a supermom idea and it didn’t turn out quite like you expected

– that time your child pulled his pants down in the middle of ______

– that time you got a sad note home from school because…

– that time your child said _____ in front of _____

– that time your daughter had an exorcist-esque tantrum during ______

3. While you wade through those dark, angry, embarrassing moments of failure, why not lighten the moment by taking a picture before you clean up all the evidence? Post it to Instagram and use #mommyfailbook. Also, TAG ME (@jkat828). Otherwise, for some odd reason, I can’t see all the pictures. Then, go through your past Instagram photos and use #mommyfailbook to denote any old pics you see fit.

4. If you’re a super tweeter, follow me. But here’s the deal. I recently realized I hate Twitter. There is just not enough time in the day. I mean, people tweet HOURLY. Do they HAVE actual interaction with actual people? So, I’m asking you to leave your SHORT anecdotes on the blog’s Facebook page, either by comment or message. This would really simplify my life. I NEED MORE OF THESE! Here are some excellent examples:

It’s 7 o’clock. I just realized I didn’t brush my teeth today. But at this point, I might as well just wait until bedtime. #glamlifeofastayathomemom #mommyfailbook

Just realized my 4 yo is feeding my 9 mo peanut butter by the spoonful. #mommyfailbook

That moment you start hosing your kid off outside, no matter the time of year, every time he poops in his underwear because you have been potty training over a year and you are so over it. #mommyfailbook

My son just told me he wants a naked wedding. #mommyfailbook

I don’t know how many times I’ve shoved vegetables down my kids’ throats as I hide behind the pantry door and stuff my face with oreos. #mommyfailbook

I know you have some good material. Please. I need to laugh today. I’m swimming in baby tears right now.

5. And finally, if you’d be so inclined, SHARE this post or the original to help get the word out! Click any (or all 🙂 ) of the links at the bottom of this post using the medium of your choice (Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, etc.)

Email me at hashtagmommyfail@gmail.com with any questions or submissions.

Enjoy the holidays everyone! But if you wouldn’t mind, accidentally cut your child’s hair while wrapping presents, burn the tree down, or forget to buy one of your children any gifts. It might get published. Worth it.