I know, I know. I said April 1. I could tell you all the excuses as to why this wasn’t posted two days ago, one of them being that I was pretty sure nobody remembered anyway. And since I got no hate mail, I think I assumed right.
Before the big reveal, let me first thank every mom that sent in a story. I was overwhelmed by the turn out in my inbox (which is a really good kind of overwhelmed) and found it surprisingly difficult to sift through the entries (which is a good kind of difficult). Thank you so much for not having too much pride to moon the world with all your fabulous flops. May God bless you with endless naps and pedicures.
But now, without further sick-baby-induced ado, HERE are the winning long-story contributors, those that have proven to be the best failures of them all. Congratulations to you all!
Laura Moss … and that time she McGyvered a diaper.
Lana Leiloglou … and that time she stuck the rectal thermometer NOT in the rectum.
Kat Burns … and that time her child puked all over her at the mom and tot exercise class.
Gale McElroy … and that time she got locked out of the house in her robe. Without her baby.
Christie Andrews … and that time she thought making Christmas crafts as a family was going to be really awesome.
Emily Austin … and that time she forgot she liked her daughter more than her Pop Tarts.
Meredith Rowley … and that time CPS showed up on her doorstep.
Summer Walters … and that time her six-year-old told her teacher on her.
Jana Young … and that time she lost her child in Old Navy.
Heather Sabrsula … and that time she didn’t notice her daughter disappeared at Chick-Fil-A.
Kayla Taylor … and that time her son pooped all over the mall playground.
Elena Coggin … and that time her son was NakedBoy.
Katy Hibbs … and that time she did the Walk of Shame.
Merissa Lowenstein … and that time her daughter watched movies all night. Literally.
Kate Stover … and that time she finally got out of the house.
Burgandi Murphy … and that time she walked in on her baby eating the inedible.
Jennifer Mullen … and that time her son was unfortunately helpful.
There were many more that were equally hilarious, BUT not quite long enough to make up an entire chapter. These stories will still be used, but in a different capacity. I will be in touch with those ladies (and these) shortly.
I hope this whets your appetite. After reading all the winning fails, I’m a little bit excited. We’ve got some world-class bootleg, rough-neck, absentminded, trying-their-darnedest mommas telling some nearly unbelievable, a little bit ridiculous tales. The goal of encouraging one another through our mistakes will certainly be accomplished. In the most loving, complimentary way possible, we should all feel like competent parents after reading them. Finally!
Thanks so much to everyone. And we will be in touch!