Marriage, Submissive, Wife, Husband, Control, God, Faith

My Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)

I’m just overwhelmed, I finally squeak out. Clark and I got into a fight last night. About floors. I don’t think we can afford new floors in the new house, but he thinks we can. And watching our savings account disappear makes me feel all kinds of out of control. I like having a cushion. I think it’s an irresponsible decision, and all I want right now is to feel stable. In case you haven’t noticed, I am feeling unstable.

I laugh, but it comes out more like a bark. I make a mental note to google “How to Cry Adorably” when I get home.

We talk for a while. They ask questions and hold my hand. They pray over me. And then they give me the best marriage advice I’ve ever received.

Middle School Parents: Here’s Help for the Cell Phone Battle

We seem to all agree on the dangers of smartphones (addiction, academic distraction, sleep impairment, anxiety and depression, cyber bullying, sexual content). But we also agree that if and when we choose to hold off, we’re going to be fighting an uphill battle because kids who DON’T have a smartphone are increasingly becoming the minority.

To My Daughter, Before You Go to Kindergarten: Love the Hard Ones

That kid who keeps making fart noises and laughing hysterically? Love him.

That kid who went to the principal’s office for cutting another kid’s hair? Love her.

That kid who doesn’t know how to count to ten? Love her too.

That kid who peed all over the bathroom wall? Yep, even him.

That kid who cussed out the teacher? Absolutely. She needs your love so desperately.

Because here’s the thing. You might be just what they need.

I know, because I’ve been loved by you. And you were what I needed. I know what it is to be changed by you, to have my insides reconfigure because of your kindness. You’ve got it in you, this ability to infuse those around you with goodness. You can do that.

husband wife marriage rut children needy

Dear Husband: A Note From Your Newly Needy Wife

That confident, independent woman-child told you things like, “I don’t like romance,” and, “Please don’t get me flowers. They’re such a waste of money,” and, “If you EVER (insert cheesy gesture here), I will run the other way.” I wanted you to know that you weren’t getting involved with one of those “needy” girls.

Flash forward to today. Ten years later.

TIPS FOR ROAD TRIPS WITH SMALL CHILDREN, TODDLERS, PRESCHOOL AGE KIDS

7 Tips and Tricks for Road Trips with Small Children

I’ve figured out a few tips and tricks along the way that have made the drives fairly smooth, dare I say even enjoyable. I won’t call my kids Road Warriors yet, but they’ve certainly earned some stripes these last few years. I hope one or two of these are new to you!

Dear 19-Year Old Me, Faith Will Come

You haven’t felt God much in your life yet. You’ve heard countless sermons and been to boat-loads of Christian camps. You’ve gone on a couple of mission trips that involved you and your giggling friends passing buckets of mud to boys you had crushes on in the mornings and playing soccer with the locals in the evenings. You’ve even cautiously raised your hands up in the air while worshiping once or twice.

But if I asked you to pinpoint one time in your life in which you genuinely felt God’s presence, a moment that proved his real-ness to you, well, trust me… You’ve got nothin’.

Minimalism, Order, and Community: Why My Husband Makes Me Uncomfortable

I was overwhelmed. I had three tiny people who required all of me and left trails of you-name-it wherever they went. We were renting a 2,100 square foot house that was filled to the brim with stuff, most of which I didn’t even like.

My house was decorated with hand-me-downs from other relatives, dead or alive, and things I’d registered for pre-Pinterest and therefore pre-I-know-what-I-like-and-how-I-want-it-to-look. And I was DROWNING in housework even though my mom and MIL, God bless them forever and ever amen, paid for my house to be cleaned once a month (if you’re in need of a baby shower gift idea, that’d be the one).

So after reading a few books*, watching a few documentaries**, and sitting at the feet of friends a lot more like Jesus than me, I began feeling pulled toward SIMPLE.